The Last FAILbender

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Here we are fellow movie goers, we've done the impossible. The Last Airbender has set the bar for the new lowest point in movie adaptations. A title where the torch is not easily passed, reserved for only the shittiest of cinematic abortions, a title that was formerly held by the movie Ultraviolet. Yeah, you read it right. The Last Airbender is worse than Ultraviolet, never thought I would utter those words, at least not so soon anyway. It was inevitable that one day, a movie would come along and usurp the epic fail that is Ultraviolet, but why The Last Airbender?

So what about The Last Airbender makes it worthy of the shame once held by Ultraviolet? Pretty much everything having to do with this film. The characters are about as interesting as sticks, with the acting talent of rocks, including the main character Aang(pronounced Un-g in the film and not the proper An-g that we've come to know and love). In fact, the only character who manages to walk away with any kind of dignity is Zuko(we'll get to all of that later). The plot goes no where, or at least makes little to no sense what-so-ever. We randomly end up skipping around the time-line every 5 minutes in order to tell a "(poorly contrived)cliff-notes" version of the story. The source material(being the show)aside from names, and places were pretty much non-existent, cutting out integral parts of the story which would have given all the much more deeper meaning to the events surrounding this world. Even the important things they decided to keep were executed rather poorly, I'm not at all sure how anyone thought this project was going to succeed.

One of the first things I mentioned were how excruciatingly bland the characters were.  This is where The Last Airbender lost most of its audience, how can you expect people to give-a-damn about characters whose ability to evoke emotion is comparable to that of paint drying? The biggest disappointment of course being Aang, the main protagonist/hero of the story. Aang is suppose to be happy/carefree, and easily relate to a broad audience. In the film however, Aang seems detached from everything around him, and comes off as quiet and cold. The Avatar is suppose to be a being of great power and inspiration, serving as an example of good and balance, the adaptation's Aang couldn't inspire me to toast bread. However it seems as though this movie wasn't meant to be a spectacle of fun at all, even the character of Sokka(pronounced Saa-ka)who provides some much needed comic relief in between the seriousness of the mission-at-hand doesn't even crack a joke, sarcastic remark, or any semblance of humor at all. Why would you rid an important trait from a character whose very existence revolves around that very thing? The same thing can be said for Katara, the main female lead who's known for being strong, determined, very emotional, and preachy/nagging. The adaptation pretty much has her devoid of much of her emotional spectrum, somewhere between stone-faced and poorly faking an orgasm. Don't even get me started on Aasif Mandvi, you sir should stick to comedy because I couldn't take you seriously as a villain. I believe it was AngryJoe who said(which I'm paraphrasing): "it was like you where waiting for the punchline of a joke that never came." The rest of the cast I found hard to care about, since the main characters didn't stand out, how are the any of the support characters suppose to?  They seemed much like a part of the background that did something every once-in-a-while, like watching a tumbleweed pass by for a couple of seconds and forgetting about it near immediately after-wards.

All around it seemed as though The Last Airbender has been heavily miscast, with the exception of Dev Patal(known for his success in Slumdog Millionaire)as Prince Zuko.  While not being an idealistic choice for Zuko, Patal brings some much needed REALISM in his approach to the character and closely evokes his personality. With that being said, I still found his Zuko to be a bit boring, perhaps it could be chalked up to poor writing or something. Either way, he delivered it as best he could, and actually walked away with his dignity intact.

Adding to the list of fail is a poor attempt to adapt a 20 episode season, and condense it into a 90 minute film(which is impossible). First of all, 90 minutes...that's it? Why? Given the level of detail that is the story of Avatar: The Last Airbender, one would dictate that you can't really skip anything and would probably be best given an extension to at least 120 minutes minimum, while also breaking up the film into more parts. Speaking of skipping things, where are the Kyoshi(pronounced Ki-yo-shi)Warriors? They do play an integral part in the mythology and yet are no where to be found. Also, I really don't like the idea of meshing 2 completely separate events together for plot convenience, It's lazy writing/story-telling. If you aren't going to even attempt to tell me a cohesive story then just drop it and go, I don't entertain the idea of having various forms of media blatantly presenting to me as if I were the dumbest form of intelligent life in the world. The already established time-line of events dictates a specific order in the events to follow, so don't mess with it. The reason most adaptations fail is because more often than not, some director turns it into their "artsy post-modern take" on the subject, instead of adapting an accurate portrayal of an already established medium! 

Lastly the effects for the film while being pretty where highly unnecessary. Most of the time they didn't really even have a purpose aside from making an already unnecessary flourish look that much worse. All flourishes in each bending form has a purpose, all movements amount to something, at least they're suppose to. On screen it just looks like a bunch of people dancing around, looking rather foolish, and for what? "Look at me, I'm going to do a complicated 500 move dance, which in turn will make a [plot device] go 10 feet in your general direction." What happened in post? Why does everything move so slow? If I can throw a rock faster, more accurately, and more powerfully than you can bend it, what's the point in bending anything?

Honestly at this point, I don't know if I have anything left to say about this film. The Last Airbender was such a giant let-down for me, originally I had thought that with all of the bad reception its been getting, my expectations were so low that it would at least be okay. But no, it wasn't even that. In fact, it wasn't even bad to the point of it being a hilarious unintentional comedy like the remake of The Wicker Man, it was just atrocious as a film in general and also as an adaptation. That being said, I very rarely give movies a terrible rating because there's usually something redeeming to be said for them. Sadly Dev Patal wasn't enough to save this one, I even fell asleep during the climax of the film and had to watch that entire sequence over again. My final recommendation for The Last Airbender is to watch it once, if only to see what truly terrible cinema is


After-thought: The Fire Nation is suppose to be this ruthless, unstoppable, and undeniably intimidating force to be reckoned with. They're only trying to take over the world[insert M.Bison joke here]. Going back to the acting, why did everyone in the Fire Nation display the aggression of card-board? Geez, your talent is so bad they can't even portray anger correctly, is it really that challenging?

Other Reviews(My Inspiration)for The Last Airbender:

These guys inspire me to do what I do, and have also inspired this very review. If you could show them some love, and support them by watching their respective reviews and other material. Well it would just mean a lot!

AngryJoeShow
The Cinema Snob